Broken Hearts, Time and Coming Home To Ourselves


I’d left for a three week sojourn through the deserts of Nevada, Utah, Arizona and California with a relatively new friend and fellow light worker when I heard news that shook me to my core.

It was an ‘either brave or stupid’ decision to go on the trip in the first place which contributed to my unravelling when I returned, but I felt like it was necessary to go and so I said “Yes!” even though it didn’t make sense.

I knew in my heart it was necessary and it proved to be the transformative experience I was hoping for, but in a completely unexpected way.

I flew in the Las Vegas two days after my friend who went for the weekend before in what turned out to be a heartbreaking experience that is not mine to tell but caused significant healing that was unexpectedly required, on her part, regarding something she had thought was strong and solid. Then, four days after I’d arrived West I called home to check in and chat with my Grandma but Papa held the phone for longer than usual. He told me that Goom (my pet name for her) had a heart attack two days after I’d left and was awaiting surgery to have a pace maker and stint put in. They hadn’t called so as to not worry me when there was nothing I could do.

My jaw hit the ground and fear instantly filled my body. I had committed to a three week experiential retreat-planning adventure with a prospective business partner when suddenly I had an important reason to be home. What I had to remind myself was that being away was part of her healing process to and so my friends and I prayed and sent as much love and healing her way as we could muster.

Funny how something like a health crisis in someone we love can wake us up quickly and completely change our priorities if we’ve been living out of alignment with our values or if we aren’t where we want to be yet or aren’t quite sure how to get there.

In a song I fell in love with during this time by Trevor Hall on his Album ‘Kala’ he described the scene of pushing his elderly grandmother in her wheelchair when she exclaimed “isn’t time such a wonderful gift?”

Boy was she ever right, and yet how many of us squander our Time, Energy, Effort, Attention, and Money as if it weren’t the T.E.E.A.M. responsible for the power plays we make in our lives?

It is time for us to start treating our energetic resources with the respect they deserve and that includes changing how we treat ourselves because what we forget is that we are energy too.

We must remember that we are spiritual beings (souls) having a human (physical) experience and not the other way around. This is why ‘A-C-T-I-O-N’ are the most important letters of the Law of Attraction; it is only action that will pull our hopes and desires to us because even when we order pizza for delivery we have to get to the door to collect the pizza from the delivery person and pay them if we want to receive the goods that we ordered.

We must realize that the present is a gift, that’s why it’s called the pre-sent moment.

One of the P.E.A.C.E.F.U.L.L. I.N.N.E.R. Warrior’s Codes of Honour involve returning your full focus back to the present moment, allowing for no distractions by not-now memories or experiences.

Understanding what’s important to you is an essential step in feeling F.U.L.L. of I.N.N.E.R. P.E.A.C.E. because it affords a sense of security that cannot be bought with anything outside of our choice to practice stillness. Some would call it mindfulness, while others would call it by a religiously affiliated term, but I refer to this still point as the sense of home we can access anytime once we memorize the energetic signature of I.N.N.E.R. P.E.A.C.E.

It is familiar and feels good because it is a reflection of our natural state.

Far too often we let problems prevent us from enjoying the present moments we are given, with the ones we love and value the most, but when we choose to do otherwise than what we value most we must ask ourselves why, and what it will mean to and for us to adopt that perspective instead of the one we held before now. Change takes time and as creatures of comfort the process of change is as difficult as we let it be.

If we go rigid and uncooperative with life as we drift along the riverbed of life, it will knock us into many more rocks and algae than if we had just let go and listened for guidance while going with the flow.

It can feel terrifying to release the need for control, especially when our life feels chaotic, but we must remember that the rocks and algae are symbolic for our disowned emotions and the stories we have grown around them. Instead of making a mess of our internal emotional landscape we must learn to be gentler with ourselves and to make space for the kind of silence that breeds self-discovery.

It is from that space the projects we start get finished, as we leave our former self-image in the place where we started and move to our next level of living with the thing we set out to accomplish. I am still working on my project, but now I can see it for what it is instead of getting caught up in it.

Wishing greatness to be activated in your life in a bigger way too dear one!

Much love,

Laura JeH – Namaste

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