How many people make their decisions based on what they’re going to get out of something instead of what they can contribute to the other person in the process?
The sad reality is that the majority of people are dialled into the frequency of WIIFM and if you’re not playing their tune they’re going to be out of there.
They’re listening to and responding to life from the perspective of “What’s In It For Me?” when the best way to win in life is to contribute your wisdom back to the tribe by listening to what they really need.
After University I got certified as a Coach, Teacher, Speaker with the John C. Maxwell Certification program and got involved at a time when my saying yes then meant I got to secure the title of Founding Partner.
I went to Florida to receive my Certification several months after signing up and while there I met a man that completely changed my life. Within 6 months of meeting him I was on a one-way flight to England where he lived, with a visa and heart full of hope.
I had already been to England for 2 months visiting him before that, seeing if I could see myself building a life with him there and was all for it, except I hadn’t realized how much would change once he got serious about building a successful business.
It took a few months for him to ‘get there’ but once he made up his mind to go for it, and committed to the process, I got to get familiar with channel WIIFM from two different perspectives within the same household.
I lived in England, in this relationship, for 3.5 years until our stations just got too fuzzy together.
He was able to build a highly successful business and had my full support, plus the assistance of other hired hands that helped him keep the main thing the main thing, while I struggled to build my own business and find a balance between the hats I wore at home, in his business, and in my own.
It was difficult and frustrating at times but in the end I wouldn’t change it for anything.
WIIFM is a great station, so long as it doesn’t drown out the music of those around you.
While the relationship didn’t survive, the lessons I learned about myself in relationships will serve me for years to come because it taught me how blindly we will follow others until our own vision becomes clear enough for us to follow despite the volume of other people’s stations.
I was trying to play my WIIFM station but the mockery and jokes were cutting when my station got too loud and it didn’t take long for me to just turn down the volume so I could still hear the hum of my music, but anyone else had to strain in order to tune in.
During those years I allowed myself to get distracted by my man’s vision and goals because he was the breadwinner and I was largely a kept woman. Part of me resisted and resented it while the other part loved being looked after. What I have learned from retrospect is that it was usually when I felt unappreciated that I pushed back the hardest and tried to make my thing my focus again, but I was being counterintuitive about it.
You’ve got to keep the main thing the main thing and recognize that sometimes, what will be the main thing in the future, just has to be something you fit into your life when you can till you can do more in the present.
Timing matters, patience is a virtue and respect is the frequency that others interpret when they tune into you.
Be authentic. Be true to yourself. And be willing to follow your heart to the finish line. You will accomplish a lot with a fraction of the frustration and disappointment I did when thinking I needed to have it all done yesterday! There is a time and place for everything so you must be willing to turn up the volume on your desires, intentions and plans in a way that doesn’t overwhelm those in your space who are all tuned into their own station at the same time.
Laura JE Hamilton