Legalization, BS and Judgement Balanced With Mercy… DAY THREE of 66


    If you’re in Canada, today has been the main news story for months because the legalization of cannabis is a game changer.

    There are many questions around how it’s going to impact our country because it has literally changed these rules and that means our collective story has to catch up. 

    The same will happen within your inner kingdom as you change your self-image too because the social rules we learn to comply with, or to rebel against, are the ones we learn to define ourselves in relation to too.

    The BS we believe is often based on what our tribe of origins taught us is acceptable, desirable or necessary so when the rule book changes, we enter a phase of cognitive dissonance when two competing beliefs are coexisting in the same place and fighting for dominion, like a Lion battling for his tribe. 

    The existing belief has roots that connect many ideas together, making the BS feel familiar, while the new idea has no feeling to back it up yet aside from our sense that it is true. Like a child being introduced to a family that doesn’t want it, a new idea has to compete against jealous brother and sister ideas that have had more time to rule the roost, and like it. They understand that this new idea threatens their survival and so they will do everything they can to kill it before it has time to gain strength or support. 

    Now we must be more accepting of how others choose to live their lives because no longer is anyone breaking the law with this. Now it’s just another socially acceptable way to leave your troubles behind, for a short time, and bond with others.

    Instead of pushing misfits to the fringes as we historically have, it is time to bring them into the fold like they have in the Netherlands where nothing is illegal or kept in the shadows. Users of all kinds can get high in public and what’s beautiful about that culture is how this openness invites conversation about something otherwise done in secret.

    Instead of judging the addict for their behaviour it is about remembering they were and are someone’s child. They desire love and connection just like everyone else, they just happened to find the fastest connection in something outside of themselves.

    As someone who has burned time, energy, effort, attention and money over the last 13 years on it, off and on, I have asked myself why countless times and last summer the answer slapped me in the face (a story for another day). 

    Weed has been the peace offering I used to gain acceptance, connection and common ground with people I would have otherwise had little in common with. As a self-accepted ‘loser’ growing up, this herb became a way for me to fit in when I otherwise didn’t feel that I did and while it fulfilled my short-term need for belonging, it cost me the next level up in the process.

    According to Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs theory, survival is at the foundation of the pyramid, then safety, belonging, respect and self-actualization as stones that are all built on top of one another. By finding belonging with other misfits who fit because of this bond, I sacrificed my self-respect and even opportunities to self-actualize as quickly as I could have without it. Not exclusively but it’s all connected. 

    I share this vulnerable piece of information because my Reactive Inner Queen Tween is the one that has said “yes let’s” even when my Creative Queen Mother said “no thanks.” We’ll get deeper into this soon as it will be key in the process of transformation.

    Today marks the start of my substance of choice’s legality and I will be abstaining for the remainder of this series, simply because I’m ready to ease the cognitive dissonance within myself by giving my Creative Queen Mother a chance to take her rightful place on the throne of my inner kingdom full time. She has often had to share her seat with a less mature and more destructive version of me and smoking weed has been the metaphorical baton that put my Reactive Queen Tween back on the throne.

    While the laws change today, beliefs about it haven’t yet and during this transitionary time we will experience a degree of chaos, confusion and conflict. When we feel unsafe or uncertain we often become more reactive than creative but as we go through the process of change we must be intentional about investing our energy into only those ideas that will serve us. 

    Until we stop judging ourselves we can’t stop judging others and, whether this has been your vice or you’ve historically turned to something else, it is time to love ourselves and others more instead of less. It is time to accept ourselves instead of judging ourselves based on what others think or expect, or even just what we think others expect of us. These are often the unconscious reasons that drive us to alter our states with external aids, in the name of a ‘good time,’ and enough is enough.

    The law changed today but our feelings about this now legal medicine has not. 

    It is up to us to change our own perception of those who use weed, or anything else, by meeting them with kindness, gentleness and I.N.N.E.R. P.E.A.C.E. because that’s what users and abusers are most hungry for.    

    While we can’t give someone what they’re unwilling to give themselves, it is possible to activate their heart centre by sending them love and reminders that we see their pain and that we also know they are more than enough. It might throw them off or just put them off, but the hungry part of them will thank you for it. 

    We are not as different as we often like to think.

    It’s just time to connect in a healthier way and learning to balance judgement with mercy is a great place to start. Legalization is a good start, it’s just about changing the BS around it remembering hurting people hurt people and addicts are already hurting – judge less, bless more.

    I believe that’s the key to making this a positive change, what do you think?

    Much love,

        Laura JeH

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