It’s been a humbling experience, to shed the masses of illusions about who I am and need to be in this world, while feeling compelled to contribute to those I’m paying for the privilege of communicating with through the messages I send my subscribers (join my private list using the signup box on the homepage) and the other platforms I pay to play on. Especially when some of those INNER processes require pulling back energetically in order to regroup without the influence of group think or pouring out when I’m already feeling depleted and insecure as I was last month after some significant personal shifts I made for myself.
Within the sacred sojourn of the soul framework that I outlined in FULLY COMMITTED this is the middle phase of the ‘valley of transformation’ when we face all the false identities that make the ego feel so great and power-full. And then we get to face the dark-light fight of the soul when we encounter shadow aspects we weren’t aware of which can scorch a lot of Earth around us when we’re not conscious of how this fight hurts those who love us and are watching from the sidelines.
I often reference my ‘messy awakening’ in 2019 that completely incinerated life as I knew it prior to that fateful day when I tried to make things happen before it was time. But doing so the way I did taught me a lot in advance of the pys-op I would have experienced differently were it not for all I’d been through by doing so.
Over the weekend I also had a realization that at the time I was going through that experience it didn’t feel like an awakening, it just was a higher level experience of noticing patterns I hadn’t been aware of before that in retrospect seemed comparable to what others describe as an awakening, yet was it really?
I recorded a TikTok video the morning I had that thought, questioning the difference between an ‘awakening’ and simply ‘waking up’ from one illusion that had captivated my attention up till then. I’d love for you to share your feedback in the comments so others can benefit from your insights too!
I’m shifting how I’m showing up online because pouring out without receiving back in equal measure has left me feeling depleted and running in circles that are destructive for my own self-esteem. It was a huge and humbling realization to see how freely I’d been devaluing myself for the benefit of others for so long it became an uncomfortable habit I wasn’t fully sure of how to shift.
I’m getting clearer on the how of that shift now and am working on it quietly, without sharing what I’m doing because I’ve learned how detrimental that can be to the achievement of that which I used to talk about without then having energy left to do it.
That said I am still sharing content I believe is crucial to be aware of and will start by sharing that “The Justinian ConneXion” Report that took so much energy to write and release earlier this month is now available and sharable here.
I also published an important message about what claimable rights are and posted it to both TikTok and my YouTube channel.
There will be more coming, starting with a ‘two in one’ I posted yesterday you can check out here.
What’s coming soon is beyond exciting to me because I see the value of what I’m brewing behind the scenes and can’t hardly wait to share it with you, but to protect the creative baby in the making I’ll hold my cards close to my chest and wish you the best for the weak-end ahead of us!!!