And so it was that I finally figured out how to pull it all together while practicing kindness toward myself for not doing better despite knowing better, understanding my Soul knew best and ‘back then’ I didn’t know as much as I do now so the delay has been worthwhile.
“Who is I?” And where does the Soul fit into that question? A worthy conversation for another time but not today. This message is more about the journey I went through to get here which was only possible because of all the off-ramps I was divinely guided to on the way.
My Soul knew the size of the task ahead of us which is likely why I was two weeks overdue and still didn’t want to come out when game day showed. My Dad has shared his horror at seeing Doctor’s stab a heart monitoring screw into his unborn baby’s crown and I can only imagine what my nearly-no-longer fetal self felt at the time. I can only imagine it was terrifying!
Two years ago when I participated in a medicinal mushroom ceremony with a Shaman and some friends, he let my try his DMT pen at the end to see how I responded to it. Immediately I started laughing deeply and uncontrollably as if something insignificant was the most hilarious thing I’d ever seen, and soon I was scheduling my first DMT ceremony. It was a trip but I also felt its power to shift perspectives!
By the sixth session within a short period of time, I had unearthed so much pent up sex-u-all energy I was able to go deep into the experience of reliving my birth, re-experiencing it emotionally while literally crying in pain as I held my head and screamed “it hurts! It hurts! It hurts!!!” for a while because in that state the fear was palatable and I literally could feel it! It was intense and so was what followed.
That was the session where I re-birthed myself as first a child and then as a mother (symbolically speaking) who gave birth to myself as the MESS-I-AM does en route to becoming a Messiah of ourselves and those who are inspired by our example.
The fifth and sixth ceremonies were split into two distinct sections in my mind because the Shaman’s friend I hadn’t met before had spontaneously participated in the 5th ceremony I’d arranged the night before with a friend where I’d swam in the waves of pleasure and glory from naturally occurring chemicals (serotonin and adrenaline). But that next ceremony was intensely different.
It highlighted so many patterns of perspective and ways of thinking and perceiving the world that I forgot who I was before them and became a new version of myself. First by exploring my wounds with parental figures, which can include babysitters and teachers, and then my sexuality as a falsely (sexually) liberated woman with low standards that played out patterns in usery relationships with friends and lovers alike until I break the chain. It’s a cruel world out there until we know better and commit to doing something about it, for love is truly a battleground in this mortal realm where we all dwell.
After that explosion of passion from the night before, which blood symbolically represents the flow of joy in life, that led me to go into the darkness of pain for a few life-changing minutes when I literally went through the process of being born, and then the experience of giving birth to myself while the Shaman said light beings were reworking my DNA and I could see strings of light rising from the flame in front of the Shaman’s space behind me leading toward my backend where I was experiencing contraction-like pain that humbled me and gave me the most sacred experience of shared pain I’d experienced up to that point in my life.
The alter-like place where the Shaman placed all of his instruments until it was time to use the best one for the job is the equivalent of what I intend for the remaining days of this series to be for you as you go through the transformation of self-image we are all undergoing now together.
In talking to Tim Wheatley, my co-host for tomorrow’s Summit, on the preparation call we had this evening we got excited by what we’re actually doing with these INNER Child PEACE Summits because of how much emotional resilience training and inner child therapy tools are required right now.
I am going to introduce the four survival archetypes (the prostitute, child, victim, saboteur) in both their sacred and scared aspects, plus offer a teaching about the conscious and subconscious mind.
Tim is going to do his part on “Nurturing The Parental Team Within” and I am excited to not only see how this combination flows, but also engage in discussion with participants joining us live on the Zoom call or via Facebook where we will be streaming live.
While I was reluctant to enter this world when it was time for me to do so on October 10, 1987, and even though the experience of moving that traumatized energy in ceremony was painful on many levels, I am grateful for my Soul’s patience with the human aspect of my being and my inner warrior’s ability to see me through even when the fear or pain became too much.
Michael Seegers went into depth about our human nature, Christ Consciousness and “I am Presence” in the most recent video I posted that you can access by clicking here if you have not yet done so. And be sure to add our “INNER Child PEACE Summit #3” from 7-9pm EST to your calendar (December 1, 2020) because this third Summit is going to go where we’ve never gone before and we’ll love to share it with you live!
Join us and in-joy the journey,
Laura JeH – Namaste