I have been committed to my spiritual path to a higher degree than most since my parents separated when I was 12.
Mom turned to religion and Dad joined a spiritual development group his cousin was part of. I loved talking to him when he came home about what he’d learned and how I might be able to grow from it too. I found it fascinating and exciting.
The summer before I went to University I received my first degree reiki certification from the woman who ran his group, and had paid her for a few sessions before that too. She was the one who leant me her copy of Louise Hay’s book “You Can Heal Your Life” that I remember reading in bed upstairs at my grandparents’ where I’d spent a lot of time while growing up too.
I forget when I learned to pay attention to the signs, symbols, and omens of life but I’ve done it for longer than I can remember.
Last night, after sending out Day 60’s email blog, I’d regained the energy I was leaking by contemplating whether to fulfill my (personal) commitment to get that message written, so I did what I’ve been feeling called to do after I got it done which was to read the next part of “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho.
At this point, I really just want to finish reading the book so I can return the copy I borrowed months ago from a local artist when we’d met and I saw the purple binding on a shelf I passed that stood out to me (an omen). I asked to borrow it on the off chance he might say yes and sure enough he did, but he also shared the significance of that particular copy so made sure I promised to return it.
He called a couple months ago about it, and I stopped by his shop (without it) a little while ago, for an update but he’s been kind to not pressure me into rushing the process. Having read it during a significant time in his life he understands the law of timing.
I followed my in-tuition and placed a jar of coconut oil from my beside between my feet so I could prop up my phone and recorded the next reading of it, finally being ok with having missed posting a section a few months back that I haven’t went back to find and edit. Had I done so sooner, I would have long ago returned the book and had access to the full story but as I read the next section in this recording, having written the blog I did yesterday, I got it.
I’ve been following the omens of the Universe like was outlined in the section I read, about a vision that saved and cost many lives. It reminded me of the past life experience my travel companion had picked up on while we drove through the plains of Utah last year where she’d shared I had lived there and ‘saw’ the enemy would be coming and we needed to leave or better prepare ourselves. I had tried desperately to warn my people of their pending doom but they would not listen and I had to leave them to save myself which my soul has carried guilt for ever since.
It’s easy to see the parallels to this lifetime as I share controversial ‘wake up’ calls to help us call our power back from abusive guardians who are violating sacred trust, and how I’ve fought myself to stay in the basement of my tribe’s home base for three years longer than I’d intended. Doing my best to help and support my Papa, and my Grandma before she passed, despite the harsh judgements from visitors constantly asking what I’m doing and why I hadn’t got a typical job like they all had to do for segments of that time was difficult.
Teaching English online to kids in China was finished before 9am and without a pension or permanent schedule, no one recognized I actually was working hard because all they saw was ‘the shit’ I was putting up online. I made the mistake of taking their judgements to heart for a time and learned some hard lessons in the process, but I’m grateful to have learned when I did.
My cousins would report back to my Grandma about the latest video I’d put up that they perceived to be destructive to my future (and family’s reputation to have one like me in it), and she would try to counsel me on why I needed to adhere to their fear-full judgements, for my own sake. And for a long time I tried.
I tried so hard to reel it in and see their perspective, and I got where they were coming from. But they had no interest in seeing where I was coming from and so when Grandma made a choice I got roped into because I loved her enough to support a decision she had made on her own, those relationships ended and my experience of ‘family’ changed a lot.
It’s been a hell of a year but it’s brought the words of “The Alchemist” I read last night to life in a way only heartache can, and as I stay where I am for now to support the only man who has loved me unconditionally through all of it, I feel the paralleling of storylines.
The trip through Utah where the pattern was identified, my experience at the Hilton Embassy Suites in Arizona last September before returning to Canada and calling the police to report corruption that got me locked into the mental health system for two and a half weeks, the part of “The Alchemist” I read last night, and the bonus segment I heard Michael Seegers share in an unposted message I’ll get up this morning…
There’s a marrying of timelines happening as personal and collective karma is cleared (and accrued) and the future is crafted from this present, power-full, moment.
The omens are present, as are the judgements, and yet all of it has taught me the peace a warrior carries in their spirit knowing “today is as good as any day to die” for living in fear is no life at all.
If you watch the video from last night, or read “The Alchemist,” you will know that sentiment comes from there.
Laura JeH – Namaste
PS. 66 days is a long time when you’re in it, a short time in the scheme of things, and the perfect amount of time to change a habit. Writing these messages has changed me and you will see how, more so, in the coming year(s). I’d encourage you to listen to what your own heart is calling for, and to make that change because if not now then when? Now is all we have.