Self-trust is the bridge between who you’ve been and who you’re becoming.
If you don’t trust yourself how in the world (pun intended) can you expect yourself to trust anyone else?
The world is full of BS that masquerades as truth and it has made us doubt ourselves. We have lost touch with our ability to discern truth from untruth and have developed a doubtful attitude and approach to life and the people in it because of it.
While we are trained to place importance on the world in front of our eyes it is the one behind them that holds the most power for us. Learning to trust ourselves is foundational in transforming our self-image because if we don’t then we won’t be able to sustain or maintain the changes we make for our self-betterment. If we don’t trust ourselves or the world we live in then we won’t feel safe enough to stand fully in our power.
Lack of self-trust is one of the greatest causes for something I’ve come to call Parapet Syndrome (PS) which is the fear of getting too big for our britches and becoming a target of public attack, and so instead of going for what we really want, we tone ourselves down and hide behind the false walls of social convention and acceptability that are supposed to keep us safe.
If you’re new to the term, a parapet is the high and low points along the edge of a building, drawbridge or castle wall that could be hid behind for protection during an attack or battle, or that simply add decorative appeal while providing a false sense of strength. Firefighters are even trained to beware of parapets because these false walls are not weight bearing so they can’t brace a ladder against one in a fire without putting themselves, and others, at risk.
Many people live their lives ducking behind these walls of social expectation and convention, holding their authentic brilliance back in the name of fitting in and being liked. It’s simply because we don’t trust ourselves enough to know what is supported and what isn’t.
These are the walls your immature self told you would keep you safe, and now that you’re feeling trapped by them and know that wasn’t true, you must be willing to be graceful with yourself by remembering that you were doing the best you could with the level of awareness you had then. Maybe you’ve even known better for a while but keep returning to old familiar patterns and here is where self-trust comes into play.
Next time you catch yourself running an old program that no longer serves you realize that it is your reactive, immature self ruling your inner realm in that moment and they were doing the best they could. Connect with them as soon as you realize what’s happening by interrupting their story and jarring their ‘normal’ pattern.
Set yourself up for success in these moments to come by coming up with a supportive redirect statement you can say to yourself to call your creative, mature and empowered self to the throne room of your inner kingdom and let them take it from there.
Your reactive self may well stay nearby and overshadow your creative self’s rule at times but the more intentional you are about interrupting these stories before they’ve grown strength the more you’ll prove to yourself that you really do have your best interests at heart. These simple internal acts of kindness go a long way in the development of self-trust through the process of transformation.
While you’ll want to come up with a short and sweet redirect statement that resonates most for you and will keep your creative self on the Soul throne, a generic mantra that will support you is simply “I am enough.”
I recorded a video on that idea recently that ties all of this together so check it out here and work on that redirect statement so you can better support yourself through your transformation and trust yourself more.
Laura JeH – Namaste