Humans are social creatures by nature and belonging is a fundamental need.
Where tribal consciousness is concerned, the individual is expendable due to the threat we pose to the social order of things. To the tribe, individuality is dangerous because it’s uncontrollable.
Darling, you were born to be that way. Uncontrollable, untameable, and unrelenting in your pursuit to express and experience the Divinity that is within and all around you.
Part of changing your self-image will require you to break free of the tribal beliefs and expectations that undermine your efforts to go for what you really want.
Remember your tribe is invested in the version of you they know you to be because your predictability makes them feel safe. They have a pretty good idea of what to expect and they also know how to manipulate and control this version of you because they’ve got you figured out so well.
Your change requires them to change their relationship with you or their perspective of you, and to someone who didn’t want to change in the first place this means unnecessary and unfair work. They will do their best to talk you out of it and aren’t beyond using all of your own stories against you, to prove their point.
A tribe will resist, reject, resent and even seek revenge on a member that speaks out against other members or who threatens the shared BS of the group. In an act of preserving the tribe they will sacrifice the individual so be-ware of how your changes are impacting others so you can protect yourself against the self-esteem attacks that come with expressing your individuality.
They love you for how you fit. When you no longer do the same way, they will still love you, they just might not like you for a while. Be ok with that and don’t take it personally because it’s really not about you at all. It’s about them, it’s just their projections that are about you.
Changing your self-image requires you fill the void with self-love and self-care to keep you strong enough to love yourself through their cognitive dissonance. You are worth it and the life you desire can only come about, or be maintained in the long run, if you do.
Make a list of 5 self-care tactics you can use to support yourself if those you normally count on won’t. Add a couple more options to the list each day and soon you’ll be able to cruise the buffet of self-enhancement!
You are more than worth it Darling!
Laura JeH – Namaste