For many years I’ve joked that I was a tropical beauty born in a really cold country. I much prefer hot sand between my toes than snow melting against my ankles where a snowbank has beat my boot, but I’ll smile through what we Canadians are being dealt because I’ve learned how much my attitude impacts my physical experience.
As a kid, I didn’t know my own power and I didn’t like the cold any more than I do now. To save myself from it, I distinctly remember quietly emerging from the coat closet after recess on several occasions, after having hid myself away for the entire recess simply because I didn’t want to endure the cold.
Not just the cold temperatures but more the coldness I experienced from my classmates at the time.
On days when I felt too weak to deal with the denial and rejection I feared on the playground, I’d strategically hid myself away under bookbags and spare sweaters in the corner once most everyone else had already left for recess.
I got caught a few times by other kids who came back to grab something they’d forgotten, or who helped in hiding me, but I never got reported as far as I can remember so I must have been liked more than I thought. It’s a shame just how true some of our assumptions can feel at times.
I had a prevailing feeling of not belonging during my early years and it continued to play itself out for many years after. In trying to protect myself from getting hurt, I lost out on the opportunity to connect and be included each time I hid myself away and I know I’m not the only one.
We all hide in figurative closets at times and what this memory reminds me is that our efforts to protect ourselves can prove more damaging than going outside to face the cold. What we often find is that our fear of the cold is harsher than the cold itself.
Smile into the cold this week knowing that your mindset plays a big role in your experience of it all!
Laura JeH – Namaste
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