People come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
Trying to turn the reason or season players into a lifetime has been a pattern I’ve perpetuated as I sought belonging where I was never meant to stay but was how I came to know my shadow tendencies.
Part of me knew it wasn’t meant to last each time I took up my metaphoric bed and walked, after a time, and yet another part of me was willing to sacrifice what was best for me for longer than was healthy for the sake of trying to make it work. It’s why Maslow placed belonging before respect and self-actualization in his hierarchy of motivational needs theory and yet it made me question my own motives.
How could I sell my self-esteem for a relationship where I wasn’t respected?
Why would I risk everything for the sake of someone I knew wasn’t a match?
What was I thinking when I put all my cards on the table with someone who wouldn’t show theirs?
Who would and could I be with or without them?
Whether in reference to intimate relationships or groups I sought membership to, these questions are equally relevant because each of them are best answered by the survival archetype most of us don’t like to admit we have: our prostitute.
This archetype is the part of us that knows our price at both the physical level and the level of integrity, honour and self-respect. Each time we sell ourselves short or for a price we wouldn’t accept in future, we become acquainted with our sacred prostitute which is the part of us that will stand up for what we believe in despite the consequences.
Archetypes are neutral patterns filled in by our own energetic inclinations and it is time to stop judging ourselves for our answers and to instead just answer them honestly, realizing our choices only cost us energy when we try to lie to ourselves.
Let a reason, season or lifetime be enough without trying to make it more than it needs to be. Each offers us the exact insight we need for the next part in our journey and that is enough.
Enough is as good as a feast and keeping a buffet open long after the goods have expired doesn’t serve anyone.
Your sacred prostitute holds no shame for the choices made up till now and neither need you. Accept where you are and what you’ve learned so you can set your standards higher moving forward. No recriminations or what ifs required about what already is, just onwards and upwards with greater awareness at our disposal!
Laura JeH – Namaste
PS. This message is part of a series called Belonging: A 21-day Adventure Home To Myself. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org to receive the rest direct – include why you’re interested too as it helps me write with you in mind!